Finally, Kara Cook decided to stop toying with Chuck Roastt partly because she had become tired of the game, and partly because she was frustrated because she wanted to cook him and eat him so very much but could not cook him and eat him while he was still alive and unhanged. She was an unforgiving and determined dominatrix cannibal who most definitely wanted to cook him and eat him, but she really had to hang him first, and oh, how much she wanted to hang him!
Besides, she was fond of him because of their long history together playing The Game. She had long pretended to hang him while he was wearing a white cotton, long-sleeve, button-down, dress oxford cloth hanging shirt and a blue silk necktie with preppy red and white diagonal stripes; and then cook him and eat him while he was still wearing the same delicious white shirt and necktie that he had been wearing when he was hanged. She didn’t want him to suffer—at least not too much for too long—when she popped him in the oven and cooked him. However, Kara Cook admitted to herself that the thought of him getting cooked and the thought of the delicious scent he would leave wafting through the kitchen when he was roasting made her eager mouth water.
So, finally, wanting desperately to cook him and eat him, with the help of her hangwomen and hangmen teammates, Kara Cook hoisted Chuck Roastt swiftly into the air and left him hanging there. As he had before, Chuck Roastt choked, and coughed, wheezed, and kicked wildly as he fought against noose around his neck and the ropes that bound him because he was being hanged. It was a glorious sight!
In his innocent ignorance, Chuck Roastt expected to be lowered and revived again, that is, he expected to be still alive, but Kara Cook commanded her team of hangwomen and hangmen to continue to hang him … and they did! She said, “I want to hang him for real this time because I’m going to cook him and eat him for real, too!” He panicked when he heard the order and tried to protest, but of course, he could make only indecipherable guttural sounds because of the stifling noose around his neck!. He panicked even more once he realized that he was really being hanged!
Chuck Roastt dangled from the noose until he was unconscious, and he continued to dangle from the noose until he was limp, until he was hanged by the neck until he was dead and ready to be cooked! Kara Cook quickly swung a sturdy aluminum kitchen cart beneath Chuck Roastt as he swung from the noose, a tempting piece of newly-slaughtered meat willingly waiting to be cooked. On the cart was a very large, stainless steel roasting pan.
Working together, Kara Cook, Julie Cook, Lance La Cuisiniere, Cheryl Meisterchef, and Henry and Albert Pierrepoint lowered Chuck Roastt face up onto the rack in the roasting pan. They were very careful because they didn’t want to bruise him, mar his body, or disturb his hanging clothes because that would spoil their dining experience when they ate him after they had cooked him.
Kara Cook and Julie Cook shove an apple into his mouth, poured olive oil onto Chuck Roastt, and then they seasoned him with salt and pepper, and other herbs and spices. Lance La Cuisiniere said, “Don’t forget the lemon! I love eating meat seasoned with lemon!” Kara Cook chuckled and said, “Don’t worry! We know what you like! We remembered to season him with lemon! You’ll be able to eat Chuck Roastt, and he’ll taste just the way you like him!” Then she put the Pyrex lid on the roasting pan so they could watch through the oven door and enjoy seeing him cook!
Kara Cook wheeled the kitchen cart up to the oven door, Julie Cook opened it, and together they shoved the roasting pan containing Chuck Roastt into the oven. Then Julie Cook shut the door, and Kara Cook turned the oven on. Gathered outside the oven as Chuck Roastt cooked, Kara Cook, Julie Cook, Lance La Cuisiniere, Cheryl Meisterchef, and Henry and Albert Pierrepoint all clapped and cheered as they anticipated eating him when he was done cooking.
But they had miscalculated; they should have examined Chuck Roastt more carefully before the lowered him into the roasting pan and used a stethoscope to check him for lack of a heartbeat before they tried to cook him. He still had a heartbeat! He wasn’t dead. He was still alive! He shouldn’t have been in the oven cooking! He should have still been hanging by the neck until he was dead!
From inside the oven, Chuck Roastt began to revive. At first, he enjoyed the warmth of the glowing oven, but when he revived a bit more and noticed the unmistakable aroma of boy meat cooking, he knew that he was really being cooked! The ever-increasing heat in the oven and in his ever-more uncomfortably hot temporary home in the roasting pan confirmed his urgent and immediate culinary predicament! He was being cooked!, and he was terrified!
Chuck Roastt cried out in his panic, It’s too hot! I’m cooking in here! Let me out! I’m really cooking in here!”
Kara Cook chuckled and said loud enough so he could hear, “What’s that you say?”
Chuck Roastt cried out even louder “Let me out! It’s really hot in here, and I’m really being cooked!
Julie Cook chuckled and said loud enough for him to hear, “What’s wrong with that?”
Chuck Roastt cried out even louder, more rushed, and more panicked, “Let me out! Let me out! It’s just supposed to be a game! It’s just supposed to be a game! I’m not really supposed to be cooked! Let me out! I’m really being cooked in here! And it hurts to be cooked! It really hurts! I’m suffering! Let me out! Let me out!”
Kara Cook said with great personal satisfaction as a dominatrix hangwoman, cook, and cannibal, “Oh, I don’t think we can do that! After all, you’re just meat! You’ve often said so yourself when we were playing! But we're not playing any more! You have been hanged for real, and now you’re being cooked for real, so we can eat you for real! That sounds just about right to me! So, enjoy it! Cook away!
For a few minutes, Chuck Roastt hung on as he was being cooked! He stayed conscious even though he was being painfully cooked! But it was in vain, and several hours later, he was done. He was cooked to a delicious, mouth-watering doneness.
Kara Cook opened the door of the oven, then she and Julie Cook pulled the roasting pan containing Chuck Roastt out of the oven and onto a conveniently waiting kitchen cart. They wheeled the cart into the dining room, where Kara Cook, Julie Cook, Lance La Cuisiniere, Cheryl Meisterchef, and Henry and Albert Pierrepoint ravenously ate Chuck Roastt with great satisfaction, which was appropriate because it was they who had hanged him and cooked him. And they had graduated, in meaningful a way, from The Cook School and were worthy successors to The Cook. They had finally become real executioners & cooks--real hangwomen & cooks and hangmen & cooks--and they had the hot, tasty, juicy, roasted meat of recently hanged and just cooked poor Chuck Roastt to prove it!
