Finally, the van stopped. With his hands still tied behind his back and his ankles shackled, he couldn’t stand up by himself. The other men were in command and control of him, and they knew it … and he knew it, too. They could make him do anything they wanted … and they did. They roughly took him off the metal table and stood him up, restraining him and holding him steady so that he did not lose his balance or try to escape.
The leader took ahold of the rope leash around his neck. The leader and the other men half marched him and half dragged him out of the van. Chuck Roastt saw that they were in a valley surrounded by mountains that cast dark shadows everywhere. The eerie darkness was made even darker by storm clouds passing overhead. He was surrounded by a deep dark that he could both see and feel. He let slip a gasp, and a shudder shook his whole fit, trim body beneath his white cotton long-sleeved, button-down dress oxford cloth dress shirt and his navy silk necktie with preppy, diagonal red and white stripes. The leader noticed and asked, “Are you afraid? Well, maybe you should be! Maybe you’ll find out very soon why you SHOULD BE AFRAID!” And he and the other men laughed long and hard again.
And, indeed, Chuck Roastt was even more afraid.
They walked in silence toward what looked to Chuck Roastt like an old chateau, and his captors led him to the chateau. He cried out in pain, “Be careful! Go easy on that leash! It hurts! I’m getting a pain in my neck!” The men all laughed again, and the leader said, “You should get used to having a rope around your neck, and you should also get accustomed to getting a pain in your neck! That’ll come in handy were you’re going, too!” And the men all laughed again. It seemed to Chuck Roastt that their laugh was a bit more ominous this time.
The men led him to the door of the chateau, and the leader used the heavy, iron knocker to announce their arrival. There was no response, so he knocked again. This time, a beautiful young woman opened the door. She was dressed like all the women at Chuck Roastt’s office, that is, she was wearing a white cotton, long-sleeved, button-down dress oxford cloth shirt, a red silk necktie with preppy diagonal blue and white strips, and a red skirt. Chuck Roastt recognized her as Kara Cook from his office. With her were two beautiful young women who were dressed just as she was. Chuck Roastt recognized them as more women from his office, Kara’s sisters, Julie Cook and Lori Cook.
Kara Cook smiled at him longingly and hungrily as she said, “Welcome, Chuck Roastt! Welcome to the chateau! We have been expecting you! We have been wanting to have you here for a very long time! You’re going to get very special treatment while you are here! We have made very special arrangements just for you!”
Chuck Roastt asked warily, “What special arrangements?”
Still smiling, Kara Cook said, “Oh, you’ll find out soon enough! No need to worry about that now! You’ll have plenty of time to think about that later!”
Kara Cook continued, “You look so very handsome in your white cotton long-sleeved, button-down oxford cloth dress shirt and your blue silk necktie with preppy diagonal red and white stripes! As the saying goes, ‘You look good enough to eat!’” Then she kissed him on the cheek, licked her lips, and said, “Oh, good! You taste good enough to eat, too!”
She continued, “I have always been fascinated by this fact. Have you noticed that our neckties complement each other? Where yours is blue, white, and red, ours are red, white, and blue. Even though they are similar and both patriotic, they formalize our different stations in the relationship between us! Do you understand?”
Chuck Roastt responded nervously, “No, not really.”
Kara Cook reassured him, “You will soon enough! Oh yes! Soon enough, you will definitely understand!” And then she laughed.
With the men still guarding him and holding his leash, the three women led the strange procession into the chateau, through a large dining hall filled with heavy wooden tables set for a meal, and through a large kitchen to a prison cell located just off the kitchen. Its iron bars alarmed Chuck Roast! The women unlocked the cell door, took the leash off his neck, pushed him roughly inside it, closed and locked the door behind him, and sternly announced. “You are our prisoner! You will follow orders, or you will be punished! Severely!”
“As you sit at attention on that cot awaiting further orders—and your fate—and you will take extra special care not to wrinkle your white cotton long-sleeved, button-down oxford cloth dress shirt; your necktie; and your navy dress slacks!” The men remained outside his cell to guard him. The Cook sisters continued to stare at him longingly and hungrily. Chuck Roastt thought that they were all a little too intent upon him not wrinkling his white shirt, his tie, and his other clothes because they shouted a reminder several times as he shifted his weight on the cot because he was so anxious. “Why do they care so much about my white shirt and my necktie? And what severe punishment was she threatening?” he wondered.
A few minutes later, several women appeared at his cell. They were also wearing white cotton long-sleeved, button-down, oxford cloth dress shirts and red silk neckties with preppy blue and white diagonal stripes. He was shocked to see that his boss, Bonnie Cook, was among them.
As the leader of the women, Bonnie Cook spoke sharply to him, “We are your captors and your owners!”
Chuck Roastt asked warily, “Owners?”
Bonnie Cook continued, “Silence! Yes, your owners! You are our prisoner and our slave! You must obey our orders, or you will be punished! Severely! And we can command you to do ANYTHING! You must submit to our dominance! We have the power of life and death over you! You will live if that pleases us … and … YOU WILL DIE IF THAT PLEASES US! YOU WILL SERVE US AT OUR PLEASURE, ... AND WE WILL SERVE YOU AT OUR PLEASURE!”
The other women and the other men laughed.
Chuck Roastt began to speak, but Bonnie Cook cut him off. “Silence! You will be silent! And you will obey orders!”
She continued, “You will address each of us as ‘Mistress’! If you address us in any other manner, you will be punished! Severely!
“You are in gravy trouble! You have committed a crime! You will be tried for that crime, and you will be severely punished if you are found guilty! You are most definitely in gravy trouble!”
Frightened and confused, Chuck Roastt timidly asked, “Do mean grave trouble?”
She laughed and replied, “That, too!” Then she and the other women and all the other men laughed, too.
And Chuck Roastt was even more afraid.
Bonnie Cook said swiftly, “This is your trial. I am the Chief Judge, and Kara Cook and Julie Cook are the assistant judges. Lori Cook is the prosecutor. I ask for 12 women to volunteer for your jury.” Twelve hands quickly rose in the air, and the jury box was quickly filled by the 12 volunteers.
“Prosecutor, present your case against Chuck Roastt!”
Lori Cook presented the evidence against Chuck Roastt. It didn’t take long. She ended by saying to the jury, “I ask for verdict of guilty and a sentence of death by hanging!”
The 12 women of jury did not even have to retire to the jury room to deliberate. They took a quick vote. All 12 jurors found him guilty.
In their roles as judges, Chief Judge Bonnie Cook, and assistant judges Kara Cook and Julie Cook said, “We accept your verdict!”
To defendant Chuck Roastt, they solemnly declared, “We find you guilty as charged and sentence you to death by hanging! Tomorrow at noon, you will be taken to a place of public execution, and there you will be hanged by the neck until you are dead! But your punishment does not end there! You deserve more! After you have been hanged, you will be cooked and eaten! So ordered!”
Bonnie Cook said sternly, “As well as being the Chief Judge, I am the Chief Hangwoman & Cook as well, and I will both hang you and cook you! And because I am very, very hungry, I cannot wait to hang you expeditiously so I can cook you and eat you as soon as possible!”
