Piggie Plumpkins encounters the Femcan Convent.
Episode 18
Oh sinful flesh, Oh sinful flesh,
How savory art thou wafting scent.
Oh sinful flesh, Oh sinful flesh,
How savory art thou wafting scent.
A toothsome treat have you become,
Soon to digest within my tum
Oh sinful flesh, Oh sinful flesh,
How savory art thou wafting scent.
The entire kitchen brigade joyfully sang with exquisitely angelic voices as they formed a palate pleasing procession carrying the batter becrispened Plumpkins upon their comely shoulders into the crowded Dining Hall. He was still secured inside the Cookery Truss, looking as if he were royalty riding a litter.
All the boisterous conversation among the young loveys seated within instantly halted. Their mesmerizing mouths watered, luscious lips smacked and alluring eyes avariciously watched every action as Plumpkins was removed from the imprisoning truss and gently set upon an ornate banquet table’s enormous silver serving platter. Every occupant’s avid appetite became ardently aroused with evermore eager anticipation.
A sturdy trolley cart richly draped with thick red velvet then rolled up. It was heavily laden with an astonishing selection of carving, slicing and chef knives of the finest make and accompanied by an extensive collection of the most wicked looking meat cleavers and bone saws ever assembled.
Everything was proudly presented in the most elegant looking display case--an assortment of butcher implements, accumulated from around the world and over the countless centuries, that could put even the best equipped abattoir to shame.
All were fondly cared for and ceaselessly sharpened by the current owner--a renown butchery aficionado and blade obsessed aichmomaniac--none other than The Grand Inquisitrix herself! She contentedly maneuvered her beloved collection of slicery up alongside Plumpkins, to provide him a close view as she expertly selected her choice of utensils for the happy task ahead. She smiled with quite satisfaction at the look of shear terror on Plumpkins’ face as he observed her preparations.
Dominique’s earliest duty as a Daughters of Devourment novice was apprenticing in her convent’s kitchen and helping with the culinary carving. As it turned out, she happened to have quite an aptitude for carvery and a postive passion for cutting up a penitent’s still living flesh. To this day, in addition to her official duties as Grand Inquisitrix, she always enjoys keeping a hand in the salvational slicement of the sinners who cross her table.
The Grand Inquisitrix was to be assisted by Confessional Coven members Sister Sadistina and Sister Burndicka, who each selected a slicer for herself and began industriously honing the edge with a sharpening steel. The willowy Sister Sadistina gave a broad beaming smile of unmitigated cruelty as she caught Plumpkins’ eye, while the buxom Sister Burndicka glared at him with all the harsh man hating hatred of an entire army of amazons.
All three butcheresses were resplendent in flowing black leather culinary gowns, replete with large puffed sleeves and topped by frilled and ruffled black leather cooking aprons. Tall pleated black leather chef toques adorned their heads. Sharp metal spikes projected out from all the seams of their garments and from the backs of their elegant black kid gloves.
Meanwhile, all the banqueters rose from their seats armed with fine china plates and formed into lines at each of Plumpkins’ limbs. Sisters Sadistina and Burndicka each took position at a leg, while Dominique placed herself between his arms.
Using an elegant butcher knife as a pointer, the Grand Inquisitrix instructed the novices present regarding the proper apportioning of Plumpkins. “Always begin slicing off pieces from the very end first, and work your way up.” She poked the sharp tip into one of his hands. “That way the sinner can feel each cut as you go.”
She whacked off his left hand and placed it on the youngest bully girl’s plate with an indulgent smile. Her fellow butcherettes each likewise carved off a foot and then proceeded up Plumpkins’ legs one thin slice at a time as they served the hungry throng.
Dominique deftly doled out divvies from both arms as Plumpkins watched with whimpering horror. He was being relentlessly whittled down from both ends, until soon he was turned into just a writhing torso and a chorus of munching, crunching and occasional yummy noises from his voracious devouresses.
The Grand Inquisitrix then produced a meat branding ink marker and proceeded to outline and label the various cuts of meat on the remainder of Plumpkins’ body. Once again using her knife as a pointer, she gave an after meal lecture for the novices regarding the merits and preparation of each.
Finally the dissertation drew to a close “...and as you can see, our sinner not only has a plump and luscious round well suited for a rump roast…”she gave his backside a sharp poke, producing a yelp “…he also provides ample chuck, sirloin and brisket for the keen diner’s plate.”
Prioress Painette took over the assembly at that point “Now then ladies, we have an important decision--would we prefer our sinner to be baked alive in the oven like ham, or roasted alive on a spit like BBQ?”
A great hubbub arose as the comely crowd conferred on the topic…
To be continued…
