Piggie Plumpkins and the Femcan Coeds
By morselman
Episode 1…
Piggie Plumpkins climbed out from his delivery van, grabbed several pizza boxes and waddled his obese way up a sorority house’s stairway and rang the doorbell.
“Yes?” a sweet sultry voice emitted from an intercom speaker.
Plumpkins cleared his throat and spoke “Pizza delivery for the Maenad Society…”
“Excellent! Perfect timing--we are preparing to commence the Sparagmos and Omophagia ceremonies…” the sweet voice enthusiastically replied.
“What in Hell is she talking about? Humph…whatever…” Plumpkins muttered, head shaking in bemusement. He then froze with jaw agape at the sight greeting his astonished gaze…
The door had suddenly opened wide, revealing a bevy of fresh-faced young coeds beaming at him prettily with toothsome grins. They had hair styled and ornamented in an antiquated classical fashion, and all were garbed in short filmy tunics that rode high on their thighs and draped only the left shoulder--leaving each with her pert right breast fully exposed!
The tallest coed was quite statuesque and gleefully spun around before Plumpkins.
“Do you like our Spartan style peplos tunics?” she cooed. “Our sorority admires and emulates the women of ancient Sparta--who were renown for their athleticism and natural beauty…”
Suddenly--with predatory zeal, she grasped Plumpkins’ forearm firmly and guided him implacably into an enormous reception room. Her delighted sorority sisters pounced into a smothering, ever tightening cluster around Plumpkins. Their frantically groping and pinching fingers eagerly reached absolutely everywhere, roughly grabbed absolutely everything, and forcefully penetrated absolutely anywhere!
Plumpkins yelped in alarm--pizza boxes flew from his clutches like scattering quail! He was lifted off the floor, as if body surfing a mosh pit. The coeds energetically tugged him in all directions--each using her purchase on his flesh to the best advantage.
His “Pudgy’s Pizzeria” uniform ripped apart at the seams exposing quivering bare skin. The coeds promptly chomped down hard into the raw treat, shaking vigorously at it with vicious growls, leaving deep indentations of teeth shaped dark purple bruises!
Just then the Sorority House Mother, drawn by all the commotion, stormed into the room and brought the proceedings to a halt with a loud thundering clap. “GIRLS! GIRLS! LADIES--YOU FORGET YOURSELVES!”
The coeds dropped Plumpkins with a plop and quickly regained their composure, looking contritely at the house mother and each other. They then brought Plumpkins roughly to his feet, keeping him clutched within firmly gripping hands.
Plumpkins looked gratefully toward his savior. She was a mature, gracefully attractive woman. She wore an elegant ankle length Greek chiton dress such as in images of a classical greek goddess. “Thank you very much!” Plumpkins stammered. “Now I should really be going--if you could please just sign for the pizzas…”
She pointedly ignored his words and continued to address her charges in a scolding tone. “Have you forgotten about the sorority Alumnae still planning to attend our celebration who are expecting a FULLY INTACT piggie? And what about the celebratory functions and festivities we still have yet to accomplish that all will require the participation of a FULLY INTACT piggie?”
Plumpkins wasn’t much liking the sound of these words. He furtively looked over his hostesses, hoping for a chance to make his break--but they all still held him quite securely, despite their chagrin.
The house mother continued her harangue. “So--you were prepared to just greedily gobble him up on the spot, all by yourselves like a pack of ravenous vixens! What does this say of your devotion to the Dionysian rites? To the traditions of this sorority house?” She gave them all a glare that could blister concrete. “Are you Maenads or mere savages?”
Taking the awkward silence following her apparently rhetorical question as his cue, Plumpkins cleared his throat and hoarsely croaked out “If you ladies please--just exactly what is all this about?”
The house mother looked at him as if he were some sort of bug and said with rich sarcasm “Why you are our most honored house guest, and with a very important role to play!”
“Role?” Plumpkins choked past the lump in his throat.
“As King Pentheus!” the coeds all cheerfully proclaimed in unison.
Plumpkins’ brow furrowed in confusion at the name. The house mother groaned in exasperation and asked with an impatient sigh “You did happen to notice that our sorority is named in honor of the Maenads?”
When Plumpkins still failed to make the connection she threw up her hands and proclaimed “So much for the Classical education!” She left the room, shaking her head, giving her charges a final instruction. “Secure our ‘scholar’ tightly until the ceremony.”
The coeds proceeded to industriously tear off the remains of his uniform and securely bound Plumpkins to an ornately wrought chair in a corner of the great room.
Plumpkins started to notice his surroundings and was struck by the decor--everywhere were beautiful works of ancient Greek art. The bronze statues, decorated pottery and framed paintings all had same theme: confidently striding, vigorously competing, fiercely battling young women--all of them strikingly attractive and athletically fit. Each wore tunics and hair style identical to those of the gathered sorority sisterhood. It seemed a shrine to the women of Sparta.
But on the surrounding walls there were murals with a darker theme. Everywhere were scenes of a hapless young man with a look of utterly horrified terror, utterly helpless despair as a gathering of ferociously frenzied beauties tore him limb from limb and devoured him raw! It made Plumpkins’ skin crawl as he recalled his recent greeting at the hands of the coeds…
“Enjoying our artwork?” the tall statuesque coed cooed next to Plumpkins’ ear, startling him. “They show King Pentheus, at the hands of the Maenads…”
End of episode 1…
