Piggie Plumpkins encounters the Femcan Convent.
Episode 17
Plumpkins’ arms and legs were just about to be deep fried into fleshy fritters when Sister Ravenousetta and Prioress Painette
suddenly burst into the scene and called out "Wait, wait, wait--stop immediately!" frantically waving their hands.
Plumpkins craned his neck upward to try and see what all the commotion was, hardy daring to hope that perhaps his limbs
were to be spared from being turned into tempura.
Sister Ravenousetta confronted the Head Sister Chef and declared "How could you break your promise?"
There was a puzzled silence until the Head Sister Chef’s eyebrows rose in recollection and she acknowledged
"Ah yes--of course. You’re quite right, how forgetful of me…"
Prioress Painette then spoke up "And what about proper decorum--have you also forgotten about etiquette and tradition?"
The Head Sister Chef bowed with contrition "Forgive me sisters, this sinner’s exceptional succulence drove me to lose sight
of my manners." She then handed the hoist’s pull chain to Sister Ravenousetta. "I did promise that you would have the next
turn at being the Fry Cook of Faith."
Prioress Painette promptly produced a book of hymns from the folds of her habit. "And the Saintress would certainly be
wanting us to follow proper rites and sanctify this blessed blistering and salvational sizzling of sinfull skin with a song.
Please sing with me sisters..."
There was a rustle as the gathering pulled out their own copies.
Sister Ravenousetta leaned in close to Plumpkins' face and gave an affectionate pinch to his cheek. "A sinner being boiled
alive in oil has always been my very favoritemost of rites!" She tugged on the chain to lower him in.
A bubbling roar arose from the two deep fry tubs as Plumpkins' batter beglopped extremities settled into their blistering
oil baths. His naked torso, suspended in the space between them, received an overspray of searing spatters upon his
bare skin.
Then a hellacious heat penetrated the rapidly crisping paste on his limbs, transforming the soft tender flesh within
into crunchy cracklings!
Plumpkins howled out a prolonged horrified scream of excruciation! Unbearable agony and utter anguish overcame
him as he helplessly experienced his living tissue being relentlessly transformed into cooking meat.
Hopelessly, he was even denied the mercy of death by virtue of having his vital organs, contained safe within the
uncooked trunk of his body, being spared from the cruel heat.
His piteous outcry was eagerly joined by the joyous voices of the gathered sisterhood as they cheerfully burst into song:
Dunk dunk dunk this sinner into deep fry oil...
Sizzle him, sizzle him, sizzle him--hear it sputter and boil!
They sang it over and over in the form of a round, like "Row row Your Boat."
The bully girls and younger novitiates became absolutely ecstatic, dancing and whirling about hand in hand, giggling and tittering gleefully as they sang in accompaniment to the caterwauling Plumpkins.
When the Head Sister Chef was at last satisfied that Plumpkins' flesh had become sufficiently crispened, she signaled for Sister Ravenousetta to raise him out from the cooking oil tubs.
The previous screaming settled down to just blubbering and sobbing bawls from Plumpkins as he gave into utter
despair at becoming a banquet of living tempura.
Prioress Painette smacked her lips and declared "Inform the entire sisterhood that the appetizer will shortly be
being served in the Dining Hall."
An awed silence instantly fell upon the kitchenry as they surveyed the scrumptious sight before them. They breathed in deeply to savor the mouthwatering scent wafting from the cooked portions of Plumpkins...
To be continued...
